Sunday, March 13, 2011

Motivation, Motivation, Where For Art Thou Motivation?

Back in August of last year, I started work on the biggest project of my college career...the Unit.

What is the Unit? You ask.

Well, it's the creation, teaching, and reflecting of a two week curriculum unit.

Doesn't sound too bad, does it?


Last semester, I created the unit.  I planned.  I wrote.  I revised.  I wrote more.  I planned some more.  I revised some more.  I wrote more.  Until the day came to turn in the final plan - all 79 pages of it.

I did really well on that portion - scoring 199 points out of a possible 200.  I was happy - my hard work had paid off.

Then, in February, it was time to teach the unit to my class.

It went well.  The kids had a good time.  They learned a lot.  They did very well.

Now, for the past 4 weeks I have been working on the next leg of this monstrous project....the reflections.

Oh, that word REFLECTION. 

It used to be a word that meant deep thinking, looking back at what I had done, thinking of changes I would make in the future....a connection to my teaching and my future growth as a teacher.

Now, the word REFLECTION sends chills down my spine.  Being that I've spent the past 4 weeks doing nothing but reflecting....reflecting...and yes, even more reflecting.

I finally finished all the reflecting this week and turned that portion of my project in - all 55 pages of it.

Now, the very last leg of the journey is here.  Presenting my creation, implementation, and reflections of the Unit to my peers, clinical instructors, and principal.

Public speaking is my forte.  I love it.  I think I'm pretty good at it.  That is until I found out that I have just 12 minutes to explain six months of work.  Twelve minutes??? REALLY??  That's it.  Twelve minutes to share, explain, inform, and highlight the ups and downs of the process.

I'm nervous. 

I love making presentations - I'm good at that, too.  Trying to present all my work in PowerPoint slides?  A lot tougher.

This is probably the easiest part of the project, thus far - but I'm having such a hard time buckling down and focusing.  I could probably get it done in an hour or two....if I did buckle down...but how can I put this?  I'm on the verge of being BURNT OUT!

I love teaching.  I love being in the schools.  I love being a college student and learning how to be a great teacher.  The Unit?  Urm..well...yeah, totally over it.

It's the biggest factor of my entire senior year.  I pass the unit or I fail my senior year.  You would think that with this much pressure I'd be devoting every spare minute making sure that I do the best I can do.  But it's hard.  Not the work...just making myself do it.

My mind is focused on one thing right now - getting a job.

I'm only 8 weeks away from graduating - and I want to be able to find a job.  The time that I'm spending on this unit, in my opinion, should be focused on developing my portfolio....locking down interviews...getting out and meeting principals.  Yet, no, I am in my office working on a presentation that will seal my destiny or my fate of my college career.

Oh well, can't spend any more time complaining - Must. Find. Motivation.  And get this presentation finished.


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