Another Interview - Another Job Gone

Yesterday, I interviewed at the school that I'm currently interning for.  I interviewed with the principle, assistant principal, and the 1st grade team.

Going in, I was nervous.  No, petrified.  I've decided it's SO much harder interviewing with people I know.

I tried to hold on to my nerves and do the best that I could.

I think I did.

Again, I answered all of the questions honestly and passionately.

It went by quickly.  Maybe a little too quickly?

I don't know.

At the end of the interview, the principle told me that they were interviewing a lot of people and that I should know something in a couple of weeks.

I was OK with that.

I was feeling OK today, that was until I found out that an intern was hired yesterday.  Not at my school, another school.  I'm not sure why the information jolted me so bad, but it did.  It made me even more nervous and even more scared for the weeks to come.

What if I don't get any more interviews?  There's only one position available at the school I'm in - and the principle is interviewing A LOT of people.

I've visited schools, I've dropped off resumes, I've emailed principles.  Haven't heard anything except a couple of "thanks, we'll keep you in mind" responses.

I keep being told not to worry, that it's early, that there's still lots of time left to get a call or an interview.  Then I hear that schools have filled positions.  Positions are slipping away.  I haven't heard from any of them. 

Am I scared?  Of course I am.  Everyone has faith in me.  Everyone keeps telling me that something will come up.  I'm not so sure.

I've never doubted myself before.  I've always been pretty confident that things will eventually fall in to place... but never when it's something I REALLY want. 

This isn't just about finding a job.  This is fulfilling my dream...my lifelong dream.  Am I lucky enough to have my dreams come true?  Is it about luck?  I think so.  I know I'm a great teacher - I've been told I'm a great teacher.... but unless I find a principle that's willing to take my word and the word of teachers I've worked with on it I really don't have any hope.

I keep being told that it's not the end of the world if I don't find something this year.  I can always sub next year.  Well, that may be true for a lot of people - but I have 3 kids to support.  I really can't financially sit by the phone every day and hope that a teacher calls in to work and that I can fill her shoes for that day. 

I'm rambling.  I know.

I can't help it.

I'm terrified. 

I just want a chance.  One chance.  A principle that will give me that chance.  I know that I will make him/her proud - glad that they took that chance on me.

Please keep me in your prayers, thoughts, cross your fingers, your toes, and anything else you can possible cross.  Please send me good vibes.  I need all that I can take right now.

The fear has taken over.

Butterflies Are Gone - Interview Over

Well, I made it through my interview in one piece.

It was an interesting opportunity.

I was surrounded by people all anxiously waiting their turn to interview with the 45 principals performing the interviews.

When it was my time, the butterflies were in full force - but I was able to keep them at bay.

It's hard to say how well my interview went.  I answered each question honestly and passionately.  The principal wrote as I spoke.  There was only 25 minutes to tell her how much I loved teaching - and fit that in to giving her the answers to the questions she asked.  With that task in hand, I think I did pretty well.

Now, time will tell how I did.  Will I get a call for an interview?  Did I do well enough to be recommended to other principals in the district?  Who knows.  Well, I guess I'll know if I get that call.

So, now the waiting game starts. 

I'm not going to just sit and wait.  I'm going to get out there and meet more principals.  I'm going to visit some schools and introduce myself.  The only way to get discovered is by making the first move....so that's exactly what I'll do.

Butterfly Kisses - Inside my Stomach

Today is a pretty big day for me.

In a couple of hours, I will be walking in for an interview. 

A 25 minute interview with one of the principals from the school district - have no idea which principal.

An interview that approximately 700 people are also attending today.

There are less than 100 positions open.

Not the best of odds.

Trying to find a teaching job in my area is the equivalent of selecting the winning raffle ticket at a charity event - where the prize is a brand new car.  There are literally thousands of teachers in the area trying to find jobs.  The fact that I'm graduating with 42 other people looking for jobs is no comparison to the amount of transfering teachers, unemployed teachers, Masters degree graduates, and other local college graduates that will be on the hunt for the same job this coming school year.

I remember being told a few months ago that in the school district I'm currently interning for, there are approximately 2500 applications on file looking for classroom teaching positions.  Two thousand five hundred applications!  Only one school district!

I've known since the first day of starting my college career that this day would come.  The day where I would start wondering "will I find a job?"  The day that everyone has warned me about, scared me about....there aren't enough positions in the area to accommodate the amount of teachers applying for them.

Am I scared?  Of course I am.

It's hard to face the reality that for four years I've spent thousands of hours attending classes, studying, observing teachers, teaching classes, writing lesson plans, attending professional development, listening to speakers, and getting to understand why I want to be a teacher so bad - and knowing that being able to do the job that I've trained so hard for isn't going to be as easy to obtain as I'd hoped.

It's coming to the realization that I have to step into that room, today, and stick out from 700 as qualified or more qualified applicants.

It doesn't matter how great of a teacher I am.  It doesn't matter what I've accomplished through my education career.  It doesn't matter how bad I want it.

All that matters is that the words I chose to let out of my mouth today - so that the person on the other side of the table thinks that I really am good enough to call back for another interview.

I have to bring that person into my mind and allow him/her to see me as a classroom teacher in their school.  I have to provide the picture of what I will do for my students each and every day.

I have to fill them with the excitement and desire that I have - and make them want to have me.

Not an easy task.

Seven hundred other people will be doing the exact same thing.

If I had a dollar for every time I have been told this past year "you were born to be a teacher" - I would be able to live comfortably for a year without having to worry about getting a job.

Those people were right.

I am born to be a teacher.  It races through my blood.  I am a teacher from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep - and even in the time in between I have spent my dreams working in my classroom.

Like Whoopi Goldberg pointed out in Sister Act II: "If you wake up in the morning and all you think about is singing then you're supposed to be a singer, girl"

Well, I wake up in the morning, and all I think about is teaching - I'm meant to be a teacher!

I have never, in my entire life, wanted anything as much as I want to be a teacher.  It's who I am.  It's how I live.  Just ask my kids.  They've heard about it ever since they were born.  Ask my mom, as she had to tear me away from my stuffed animals as I played "schools" just to eat dinner.  Ask my fiance who pretends to care each and every day as I bombard him with the excitement and minute by minute replay of the amazing day I had in the classroom.  They will all tell you how important this is to me.

So, here I go.  It is time.  The butterflies have begun to wake up.  I feel their soft kisses on the inside of my stomach.  The pitter patter of their wings reminding me how important today is.

Stay with me, little butterflies. For you remind me how important today is.  Please refrain, however, from getting too excited in there - I need to be able to concentrate on making my dream come true.

Spring Break, You Were So Worth the Wait

My first day of Spring Break was yesterday.  Yep, Wednesday....the middle of the week.  Thanks to all of the snow we got this year, the school decided to make up a few days over Spring Break.

Making up snow days on Spring Break didn't bother me.  The kiddos need to make up the time BEFORE the testing - not at the end of the school year when they are ready for summer break. 

I had only one thing planned for spring break....to do absolutely nothing! 

Unfortunately, that's never a plan that I get to keep.  No, even on Spring Break there's always something that needs to be done.

Instead, I have settled on doing little things here and there. 

Yesterday, Hubby took me shopping while the dog was at the groomers.  Fun with a chore to check off the list.  When we got home, I cleaned house a little....Lord knows it needs it.  Then it was off to pick up Peanut  from school and take her to my mom's.

Peanut only gets two days of spring break.  So, while the rest of us were enjoying a day off yesterday - she was still in school.  Butter and Jelly have been at my mom's since Sunday.  Butter was out of school for the whole week, and Jelly's daycare closed for the week. 

Today, I decided to take things a little easier.  I finished up the cleaning I started yesterday and then happily planted my behind on the couch for the afternoon with Jelly.  Butter amused himself outside while Jelly and I got caught up on some Dora and Diego.

Yes, I even had the luxury of taking a nap!! 

Now, it's just about time for me to cook dinner. 

After dinner, more couch sitting is planned.  Going to watch some TV, maybe a movie, and do some more of that relaxing stuff.

Tomorrow, I have some organizing and cleaning to do in my office.  It's time to pack away all of the senior project stuff and focus solely on job finding stuff.  Basically, that means cleaning the entire office so that I can focus on ANYTHING.  Yeah, it's a mess.

Tomorrow night is what I'm looking forward to.  Finally a night out!! Haven't had one in a very long time.  I like to get out every once in a while with my closest gal pal.  It will be nice to let loose, sing a little karaoke, and just have a fun time.

OK, time to go cook dinner. 

Speed Interviewing

You've all heard about speed dating, right?

You know - where you sit in a room filled with tables.  There's a person sitting at each of those tables.  You have about 10 minutes at each table...you share, you discuss, then you hear a buzzer telling you it's time to move to the next table.  At the end, you decide if you found any possible love matches - and decide to exchange numbers.

Well, imagine that scenario - but instead of love interests being on the other side of those tables..there are potential job offers.

That's exactly the scene I encountered yesterday. Speed interviewing.

There were six principles from six different schools stationed at six different tables.  There were six candidates interviewing at a time.  You sit down, introduce yourself, and the ten minutes begins.  Ten minutes to explain why you think you'd be a good fit in their school, and answer the questions they have.

It was a little...well...urm....SCARY!!  Yeah, that's a good word.  Terrifying?  Yeah, maybe that too. 

I will say this now.  Ten minutes is a very short amount of time.  VERY SHORT.  Just when you get into a great conversation, things are going really well, you're enjoying the time....BEEEEEPPPP...time's up, move on and start over.

Despite how nerve wracking it was - it really was a great experience.

I had a wonderful opportunity to talk to five principles I've never met before - and the principle I've been with since August.

Each principle had different questions, so I was constantly thinking on my feet - trying to extract the best answer from my brain....but overall, I think it went pretty well.

I like to think of myself as a person that performs well under pressure.  That was, of course, until the pressure is the fate of my future career...even that was a little too much pressure for my liking.  Despite my nerves kicking in and my hands dripping with sweat - I think I did pretty well.

There were a couple of questions that got me rambling - and I don't like to ramble.  There were a few questions that got me really excited - and the excitement transferred to the principle.  There were a question or two that froze me on the spot - the questions I just didn't expect and sent shock waves of panic through my body...because those questions weren't on my practice sheet.  But I managed to compose myself and answer to the best of my ability.

Before I knew it, the hour was over.  I had completed six mini interviews and I left feeling pretty good about the whole thing.

It was definitely a learning experience.

Now, I'm ready for the "real deals".  Let's just hope I can get one or two.

*Fingers crossed*

Adios Senior Project, Hello Trying to Find a Job

What a roller coaster ride the past few days have been.

Forty five interns came together to present their senior projects - the bulk of their senior year - to peers, teachers, and principals.

On Tuesday, I was lucky.  I got to sit back and relax while half of my classmates presented their senior projects.  Wednesday - it was my turn.

The presentation, overall, went very well.  I was nervous, I stumbled a little - but I got through it...and for that, I'm extremely happy.

I'm also happy that it's over.  The senior project started in August of last year - and was daunting, to say the least.  It took hours and hours of planning, hours and hours of teaching, and hours and hours of reflection to get it to the point of completion.  And now, it's over......that part is, anyway.

Now, it's on to yet another daunting task - trying to find a job as a teacher. 

The area in which I live is in no short supply of teachers.  There are literally hundreds of teachers trying to find teaching jobs each school year - and now I am going to be one of them. 

I've always been pretty confident about finding a job when I needed one - but this is so different.  This isn't about finding a job to pay the bills - this is about finding a job doing what I've always wanted to do and want to continue doing for the rest of my life.  This is my career, what I've worked so hard for the past four years...it's a lot to worry about.

There are so many schools in the area - but trying to get the opportunity to at least interview is the challenge.  I've had the great opportunity of working in one school this year....I did a practicum in a school for my junior year.... but that's about it.  That's the extent of my school connections.  I don't know any other principles, I haven't built up a network of "teacher friends" that can put in a good word for me....except for the school I'm currently in. 

Getting a job in my internship school would be AMAZING.  I have had such a great experience being there - I love all of the teachers, the administration is awesome, and the entire school as a whole is great.  Yeah, I'm biased - I've been there for a year.  I've built relationships not only with the staff - but with the students, too. 

That doesn't mean I don't want a job anywhere else - there are several amazing schools in my area...it's getting an interview that's the challenge.

Maybe I do get an interview or two....will I be good enough?  Will I be able to convince them to choose me over the other applicants?  Is my passion to find a teaching job any deeper than the other people applying for the same jobs?

The whole thing is very emotional for me.  I have wanted to be a teacher since I was 5.  Now I'm weeks away from receiving the piece of paper that can make that dream come true.  It's so close I can taste it - yet still so far away.  The biggest challenge is yet to come.  There has been no preparing for the days and weeks to come....stepping out and trying to find "the" position.

Hopefully, I will.

Motivation, Motivation, Where For Art Thou Motivation?

Back in August of last year, I started work on the biggest project of my college career...the Unit.

What is the Unit? You ask.

Well, it's the creation, teaching, and reflecting of a two week curriculum unit.

Doesn't sound too bad, does it?

IT IS!

Last semester, I created the unit.  I planned.  I wrote.  I revised.  I wrote more.  I planned some more.  I revised some more.  I wrote more.  Until the day came to turn in the final plan - all 79 pages of it.

I did really well on that portion - scoring 199 points out of a possible 200.  I was happy - my hard work had paid off.

Then, in February, it was time to teach the unit to my class.

It went well.  The kids had a good time.  They learned a lot.  They did very well.

Now, for the past 4 weeks I have been working on the next leg of this monstrous project....the reflections.

Oh, that word REFLECTION. 

It used to be a word that meant deep thinking, looking back at what I had done, thinking of changes I would make in the future....a connection to my teaching and my future growth as a teacher.

Now, the word REFLECTION sends chills down my spine.  Being that I've spent the past 4 weeks doing nothing but reflecting....reflecting...and yes, even more reflecting.

I finally finished all the reflecting this week and turned that portion of my project in - all 55 pages of it.

Now, the very last leg of the journey is here.  Presenting my creation, implementation, and reflections of the Unit to my peers, clinical instructors, and principal.

Public speaking is my forte.  I love it.  I think I'm pretty good at it.  That is until I found out that I have just 12 minutes to explain six months of work.  Twelve minutes??? REALLY??  That's it.  Twelve minutes to share, explain, inform, and highlight the ups and downs of the process.

I'm nervous. 

I love making presentations - I'm good at that, too.  Trying to present all my work in PowerPoint slides?  A lot tougher.

This is probably the easiest part of the project, thus far - but I'm having such a hard time buckling down and focusing.  I could probably get it done in an hour or two....if I did buckle down...but how can I put this?  I'm on the verge of being BURNT OUT!

I love teaching.  I love being in the schools.  I love being a college student and learning how to be a great teacher.  The Unit?  Urm..well...yeah, totally over it.

It's the biggest factor of my entire senior year.  I pass the unit or I fail my senior year.  You would think that with this much pressure I'd be devoting every spare minute making sure that I do the best I can do.  But it's hard.  Not the work...just making myself do it.

My mind is focused on one thing right now - getting a job.

I'm only 8 weeks away from graduating - and I want to be able to find a job.  The time that I'm spending on this unit, in my opinion, should be focused on developing my portfolio....locking down interviews...getting out and meeting principals.  Yet, no, I am in my office working on a presentation that will seal my destiny or my fate of my college career.

Oh well, can't spend any more time complaining - Must. Find. Motivation.  And get this presentation finished.